5 Mistakes to Avoid When Choosing a Realtor During Divorce

Practical tips to stay on track and avoid conflict (Ontario)

Selling a home is hard work in the best of times. During a separation, it’s not just a transaction—it’s a process that has to protect both people while still appealing to serious buyers. In Ontario, where the “matrimonial home” carries special rules about possession and consent, the realtor you choose will either calm the waters or create ripples that reach every decision. Here are the five mistakes that most often derail couples in this situation—and what to do instead so you can move forward with clarity and confidence.

Mistake 1: Picking a partisan agent because they’re “on my side.”
It’s tempting to hire a friend or the agent who sold you the house years ago, especially if they feel loyal to one spouse. The problem isn’t competence; it’s perception. During a separation, even small asymmetries—an update sent to one person first, a phone call that isn’t recapped, a private text that never makes it into the thread—create suspicion. Suspicion stalls decisions, and stalled decisions cost money. The better choice is a realtor who will act as a neutral facilitator: someone who treats both of you as the client, keeps communication symmetrical, and writes things down so there’s a shared record. Ask explicitly how they’ll deliver equal information (one shared email thread, mirrored updates, simultaneous circulation of offers). A neutral stance doesn’t mean they won’t push for the best price; it means they’ll push with both of you equally informed.

Mistake 2: Skipping a written process because “we’ll figure it out.”
Verbal understandings are fragile when emotions run high. Without a simple written plan, ordinary decisions—when to show, how quickly to respond to offers, who can authorize a price change—turn into friction. In Ontario, where selling a matrimonial home typically requires consent, a lack of structure bleeds into consent itself: one person may feel rushed; the other, blocked. What works better is a one-page “working protocol” approved before the sign goes up. It sets the shared communication channel, showing windows and notice, how pricing will be chosen and adjusted, and how offers will be summarized (price, deposit, conditions, closing date, inclusions) and circulated to both parties at the same time. The protocol is not red tape; it’s a map. When the map is clear, you can disagree productively and still move forward.

Mistake 3: Pricing from emotion, not evidence.
Separations invite wishful pricing. One person wants room to “see what happens,” the other wants to “get this over with,” and the list price becomes a stand-in for everything else that’s unresolved. Meanwhile, the market has its own logic: buyers compare very recent sales, current competition, and value drivers like layout, parking, school catchments, transit, and renovation quality. Overpricing stretches days on market and makes later reductions look like weakness; underpricing without a clear offer-date strategy can feel manipulative and feed internal mistrust. Ask your realtor for a transparent pricing workbook with fresh comparables and adjustments you can see. If you’re testing an offer date, write down in advance how you’ll treat pre-emptive (“bully”) offers and the walk-away number that would justify moving early. When the numbers and rules are agreed in daylight, you won’t be negotiating with each other at 9:47 p.m. while a buyer’s irrevocable ticks down.

Mistake 4: Underestimating preparation and documentation.
Rushing to market without light prep is expensive. A deep clean, paint touch-ups, small repairs, and professional photos (plus a floor plan) make buyers more confident and shorten condition periods. Equally important is the paper trail. Condo sellers should request the status certificate early; freehold sellers should collect permits and receipts for significant work. Keep mortgage statements, property tax bills, and utility details handy. Store everything in a shared folder and name files clearly so both spouses and both lawyers can find them. A tidy file isn’t just buyer-friendly—it’s conflict-resistant. When you can point to documents everyone can see, you spend less time arguing about memory and more time negotiating with the market.

Mistake 5: Letting offers unfold in a fog.
Offer night is when poorly chosen agents and fuzzy processes do the most damage. If one spouse sees more than the other, or if terms are relayed verbally without a paper trail, trust evaporates. You need two things: simultaneity and clarity. Your realtor should circulate complete offers to both spouses at the same time and include a short, written comparison of price, deposit, conditions (financing, inspection, status certificate), inclusions/exclusions, and closing date. Counters should be drafted and approved in writing before they go back to the buyer. If you hit a genuine impasse, pause and let your lawyers help. Serious buyers rarely disappear because you chose order over drama. In fact, the calm, organized response often earns you better terms because it signals a well-run sale.

A quick Ontario note about logistics: for a matrimonial home, consent and signatures matter; your family-law professional will explain how that applies to you. Proceeds from the sale are often held in a lawyer’s trust account and then released according to your separation agreement or a court order. If the property is tenanted or a condo, timelines for notices and status certificates should be integrated into the listing plan up front so there are no last-minute surprises. None of this replaces legal advice; it simply lets the market work while your legal process continues in parallel.

So how do you choose the right realtor under pressure? Look past charisma and track record alone and evaluate the system they bring to your specific situation. Ask to see a sample weekly update. Ask how they’ll structure a one-page protocol and what their pricing workbook looks like. Ask for a sample offer summary grid so you know how decisions will be framed when time is tight. Most of all, ask how they will keep both of you equally informed—because that is what protects consent, reduces stress, and ultimately helps you accept the right offer with confidence.

In a separation, a good sale isn’t just a strong price. It’s a process that feels fair while still moving briskly toward closing. Avoid partisan representation, write down your rules, price to today’s Ontario market, get your home truly ready, and insist on transparent offer handling. Do those five things, and your realtor will have the structure to do their best work—and you’ll both have the breathing room to focus on your next chapter.

Information only—Ontario-specific. Please obtain legal advice for your situation.